


I Am Not Undone

by heartsdesire456



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Leo Fitz Feels, Lies, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:47:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3664404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Stop!” Fitz shouted, taking sharp, panicked breaths. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Mack held up his hands, shaking his head. “Baby, you’ve got this wrong-“</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Fitz flinched at the endearment. “This isn’t an ICER, Mack,” Fitz gritted out, swallowing around the fear and disbelief. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Mack took a step closer. “Turbo, you won’t hurt me,” he said and Fitz dropped the gun and shot at the floor in front of him, making Mack jump back. “DAMN, Fitz! Stop and just listen-“</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Please,” Fitz whimpered, shaking his head. “Please don’t make me do this."</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Or, The one where Bobbi and Mack were spies for Clint Barton, Phil's ex, to see if he was actually Phil Coulson)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Not Undone

**Author's Note:**

> So this diverges from the episode where Skye's powers are outed to the rest of the team. Just a fun 'other idea' for what all went down. Pretty feely. Hope you like it.

Fitz couldn’t even think as he walked down the hall back towards his room. He couldn’t stop wringing his hands, trying to think of anything he could do, anything he could possibly say to Skye. His head was more jumbled than ever and it was almost entirely out of fear. Everybody seemed to be against Skye and those like her. All of them. It was terrifying. 

_Abomination_.

Simmons had called the gifted people ‘abominations’. Had talked about taking them out. He’d even heard someone toss out the word ‘eradicate’ but he wasn’t sure if it was the team or the Kree as jumbled as his head was. It was like a nightmare. All the scariest stories from history came from wanting to eradicate what was perceived as a plague on mankind. If there was anything he knew, being scared of who you were and feeling like you were a freak was the worst thing ever. And he’d never had someone suggest he needed to be put down for it.

“Turbo.” Fitz gritted his teeth, eyes locked ahead as he picked up his pace some. “Fitz! Wait up- Fitz!” He turned the corner towards the kitchens only to have Mack catch his elbow. “Fitz, wait-“

“Don’t touch me!” Fitz snapped, unable to stop himself. He shrugged out of Mack’s hold and turned around to face him. Mack looked surprised by the acid in Fitz’s voice but he didn’t know what the hell Mack had expected. “Not right now, Mack, please-“

“Turbo, lemme explain-“

“Oh yes, like that’s going to help anything,” Fitz hissed, backing up some. “Mack, this is not something you can explain-“

“Hey, Skye’s my friend too,” he started, but Fitz cut him off with a glare. Mack sighed, deflating some. “Turbo, I promise, I didn’t mean hurt her-“

Fitz barely bit back a growl of rage as he stepped forward, lowering his tone. “Nobody ever starts with that. It always starts with isolation, right? Identify them and then isolate them to be studied. It ends in experimentation and ultimately killing them, Mack!”

“But not Skye-“

Fitz threw his hands up. “It’s not just about bloody Skye!” he shouted at Mack. “All of you- you act like Skye’s the exception but that’s the part that scares me most!” He deflated some, looking up at Mack through hurt eyes. “Simmons started on about how the gifted individuals needed to be snuffed out before they can cause damage. Our Kree guest called them a plague to be eradicated, _even if they don’t know what’s happened_ ,” he stressed. He shook his head. “It’s not just Skye, Mack. It’s the idea that this group of people we don’t know anything about are meant to be ‘taken care of’ just because they’re different, because they _might_ hurt someone-“

“Because it’s what’s right-“

“Because of something they can’t help!” Fitz argued, blinking back tears. “You’re all talking genocide, Mack. None of you seem to look at it that way, but it _is_. And that-“ He swallowed, shaking his head. “That terrifies me.” He wiped at his eyes to stop any tears from falling, looking away as he shook his head again. “Mack, you’re all scaring me. I wasn’t- I wasn’t gonna let any of you get it in your head that Skye needed to be put in a cage and treated like a lab rat. Something to be studied and dissected so we can fight the rest of the ‘gifted individuals’.”

Mack curled a hand around his upper arm, rubbing gently. “Turbo, we’d never do that-“

“Because Skye’s different?” he asked in a small, weak tone. He sniffled. “Mack… that’s not how it works. That would be like me saying ‘oh I hate all women but not Simmons, cause she’s my friend, so she doesn’t count’-“

Mack rolled his eyes. “Women make up half of the global population and aren’t all dangerous-“

“But some of them are, right?” Fitz countered, giving him a desperate look. He wanted Mack to get it. He wanted him to understand. “We don’t know if all of these people changed by the diviners are dangerous. We don’t know anything except they have powers that can be dangerous. But so do I! So do you!” He rolled his eyes. “You’re exceptionally strong. That could be considered abnormally dangerous, right? I’m a bloody genius who can build weapons of mass destruction with minimal supplies, that’s very fucking dangerous. The only difference is that Skye can’t control it. The others can’t control it. They can’t help what’s going on with them the same way, in my example, half the bloody world can’t help they’re female.”

Mack gave him a sad smile. “Turbo, it’s just not the same-“

“YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT GENOCIDE!” Fitz shouted, unable to hold it in. Mack flinched back and Fitz shoved at his middle. “What the FUCK do you not see about that?!” he demanded, turning to stalk off.

“Fitz, c’mon.” Mack caught his elbow and Fitz let out a sob, unable to help it. He hated how anger and fear made him cry so easily. He hated it so much at that moment. Mack pulled him back around slowly and Fitz let him. He looked up at him and saw the pain in Mack’s eyes. “Turbo,” he said in a soft tone, reaching up with his other hand to cup Fitz’s face in his hand, wiping tears from under his eye. Fitz let out a shuddered breath and shut his eyes. “Fitz you know, right? You know how much you mean to me,” Mack murmured and Fitz let out a weak, pained sound.

“It doesn’t change anything, Mack.” He looked up at him, sniffling. “Yes, I know. I may be oblivious but I’m not that bloody stupid. Even I noticed how you look at me.” He shook his head minutely, not pulling his face out of Mack’s hand. “It doesn’t change it, Mack. I- I care about you, too. But right now I can barely stand to even look at you.”

Mack visibly flinched and Fitz wanted to feel bad, but honestly he couldn’t. Mack needed to understand how wrong he and all the others were. “I just want to keep the people I care about safe, you know?” he asked softly, looking into Fitz’s eyes. “These things are dangerous. And if it comes down to it, I’m all for stopping the danger at its source.”

Fitz took a deep breath, leveling Mack with a heavy stare. “And I’d rather die than kill someone who had no choice in what happened to them and is just scared. I refuse to be on the side of those who advocate culling an entire population just because of a few vicious individuals.” He shook his head slowly. “And the way I feel about you doesn’t change that, right now, you are on the wrong side.”

Mack gave him a pained look. “Fitz,” he all but whispered, and Fitz shook his head, stepping back, out of Mack’s touch. 

“No, Mack. They’re people.” He steeled himself for what he had to say, no matter how much it hurt. “I can’t help be disgusted by you right now, and it’s breaking my heart,” he said softly, then turned to leave. 

This time, Mack didn’t follow him.

~

After Fitz cooled down, he felt a bit bad about telling Mack he was disgusted by him. He still was angry, that wasn’t going away, but he wanted to talk to him at least. As much as it sucked at the moment, Fitz didn’t want to completely ruin whatever it was he might have with Mack. He’d never actually dated anybody because of the same thing as he’d been doing with Mack: being too afraid of messing it all up to even try. Especially since, in the past, none of those opportunities had been anywhere near what this was. He’d been sort of in love with Simmons, but besides that, it had just been a chance at asking someone out for a date or something similar. He knew he and Mack both felt whatever it was they had between them. If things hadn’t been so hectic and stressful lately, he was pretty sure he and Mack would’ve already had to face the feelings there, because back before the whole thing with Skye’s father started, there had been several times he and Mack came extremely close to more-than-friendly touches. 

It had been exciting and new and something he wanted more than anything. Mack was a good man, beneath his current fears, and Fitz wanted that still. He just needed to make Mack understand why he was wrong. It was much easier said than done to change someone’s mind, Fitz knew that, but he couldn’t help but hope that once Mack started to be less afraid, he’d come to his senses.

He heard thumps in the garage as he walked up into the hangar and smiled. At least he was right about where Mack would be. He spoke as he came to the end or the ramp. “Mack I’m really sorry about earlier-“ He stopped immediately as his eyes landed on the sight up the ramp.

Mack was in the process of putting Hunter’s limp body in the back of the SUV. He turned around fast, eyes wide as he spotted Fitz, and Fitz knew immediately that he hadn’t expected anybody to catch him. “Oh shit,” Mack said and Fitz snapped out of it.

“M-Mack?”

Mack shut the door of the boot and turned around. “Turbo, I can explain,” he started, and Fitz finally came to his senses and stumbled back, nearly falling when Mack started after him, spurring him into turning and _running the hell away_. “FITZ!” Mack shouted, but Fitz didn’t stop as he slapped the control to the door to the hangar, hoping it might shut and slow Mack down as he sprinted down the hall. Mack was a lot taller and could run a lot faster, and Fitz was well aware of that. Fear gripped him as he heard Mack squeeze through the door before it shut without stopping. “FITZ JUST STOP!” he shouted, and Fitz spotted where someone – probably May – had left their gun lying on the table with cleaning supplies sat out, and snatched it up, shoving the clip in and checking to see it wasn’t actually disassembled in any way before wheeling around, clicking off the safety to aim at Mack when he came running through the arch.

“Stop!” Fitz shouted, taking sharp, panicked breaths. 

Mack held up his hands, shaking his head. “Baby, you’ve got this wrong-“

Fitz flinched at the endearment. “This isn’t an ICER, Mack,” Fitz gritted out, swallowing around the fear and disbelief. 

Mack took a step closer. “Turbo, you won’t hurt me,” he said and Fitz dropped the gun and shot at the floor in front of him, making Mack jump back. “DAMN, Fitz! Stop and just listen-“

“Please,” Fitz whimpered, shaking his head. “Please don’t make me do this,” he pleaded, leveling the gun at Mack’s center mass. “S-stay back, Mack. Please. _Please_ -“

There were footsteps just before May burst through the door beside Fitz and Bobbi, Simmons, and Coulson all came running from the hall behind Mack. They all slowed to a stop when they spotted Fitz holding a gun at Mack. May immediately pulled her ICER, keeping it down. “Fitz, what’re you doing?” she asked in a dangerously even tone.

Mack looked at May, then over at where the others had backed away from him and were to the side. He looked back to Fitz, clearly aware he was surrounded. “Turbo, just liste-“

“DON’T!” Fitz snapped. “Don’t you dare call me that. I don’t know who the hell you are-“

“Turbo, please,” Mack begged, holding his hand out towards Fitz. “I swear to God, I’d never hurt you. You know better-“

“I don’t know fuck all apparently!” Fitz barked.

“What’s going on here?” Coulson demanded, and Fitz glanced his way, not lowering the gun from Mack. “Fitz?”

Fitz sucked in a shuddered breath, looking back at Mack, unable to stop the hurt at being betrayed _again_ coming out in every word. “I- I went to go talk to him, and when I got on the Bus, I found him stuffing Hunter’s body in the boot of the truck.”

Bobbi snapped around to Mack. “What?! Mack, what did you do?!” she cried in disbelief. “We talked about this-“

“He’s alive,” Mack said, turning to her. “I didn’t hurt him, dammit, Bobbi. I told you you had to back off-“

“And I did, you didn’t have to _hurt him_!” she shouted and Fitz suddenly realized with a pang that she was in on it too. May must have picked it up as well because her ICER was aimed at Bobbi next. 

“Morse, drop your gun. Now,” she said slowly, and Bobbi froze. Coulson looked at them both in cold realization but Simmons just looked between Fitz and May and Bobbi and Mack like a tennis match.

“Wh- What? Bobbi and Mack? Are you serious?” she asked, turning hurt eyes on Bobbi. “You’re not…” She trailed off, backing towards Coulson. “Hydra.”

“No,” Mack said firmly. “Look, Hunter is fine. He’s just unconscious.” He looked at Bobbi, then deflated. “Damn, Bobbi. He just- He came up and was demanding answers. He knew we were lying to him and I panicked! I didn’t know what to do, so I just- I choked him out and I was gonna just lock him in the truck and go get you, but Fitz came up and-“ He turned to Fitz, his eyes full of sorrow. “Turbo, the gun isn’t necessary. I would _never_ hurt you and you know it.”

Fitz fought the wave of nausea that swept over him as he realized that everything he thought he might have with Mack was all a lie. Mack wasn’t his friend, he was under cover the whole time. Just like last time. “I believed that once before,” Fitz said in a hoarse tone, gritting his teeth. “And I ended up with permanent brain damage.”

Fitz didn’t feel at all sorry for the way Mack flinched like Fitz had punched him. Bobbi backed closer to Mack, looking at Coulson. “We’re not Hydra,” she said firmly and Coulson shook his head with a sad expression.

“I never expected you, Bobbi. I would’ve never thought-“

“We’re not!” Mack urged. “Go look, Hunter is fine. We haven’t done anything but monitor you all. Especially you, Coulson.”

Coulson glanced at Simmons. “Go see if Hunter is dead-“

“No need.” They all startled when Hunter shuffled through the archway, rubbing at his forehead. “Please tell me someone shot Mack and will let me shoot Bobbi?” he asked, leaning against the bricks heavily. “I feel like the worst hangover ever because _someone_ decided to _strangle me_.” He glared at Mack, who did, for what it was worth, look apologetic. He pointed two fingers at Mack and Bobbi. “I bloody well knew better than to trust you two were up to nothing unusual. I should’ve run for it the minute I saw Mack in the garage when I arrived with Hartley. I should’ve realized you were coming sooner or later and ran for it. You and Mack are always trouble-“

“That’s not fair,” Bobbi argued. “Mack is never involved in anything, he just happens to be my friend-“

“And that’s guilt by association!” Hunter argued. “I didn’t even know he was SHIELD until I got here! I thought he was a civilian!”

Mack snorted. “I’m a mechanic, it was close enough before all this shit went south and my friends turned on me to try and kill me! I didn’t wanna come back to SHIELD. I wanted to get out after it broke apart, but Bobbi needed me to help her with this and I agreed. She was going under cover for HYDRA so nobody else would be here to observe-“

“Observe what? Us?” May asked and he glanced at Bobbi, who sighed, deflating.

“Observe Coulson.” She looked at Coulson, who stilled.

Coulson gave her a hard look, stepping closer. “Who sent you?”

She grimaced. “My ex-husband.”

Everybody seemed to flounder for a moment before Hunter stumbled away from the wall. “I bloody well did not!”

Mack snorted and Bobbi gave Hunter a sad look before turning back to Coulson. “The one we share, Sir,” she said reluctantly.

Fitz frowned. “Coulson has an ex-husband?” he asked, glancing at Coulson, only to see him staring at her in shock. 

Simmons stepped closer to him gingerly. “Erm. Sir? Are you alright?”

Coulson seemed to snap out of it, though he was still pale. “You were married to him in the past?” he asked Bobbi, who nodded with an awkward shrug.

“Before either of us were SHIELD,” she said softly. “I seem to have a type for mercs.”

May cursed, holstering her ICER and pushing Fitz’s gun down. “Goddammit. How does he even know Phil’s alive?” she demanded, stalking over to him. “Did you fucking tell him, Coulson, I swear to God-“

“Of course not,” he said to her and Bobbi shook her head.

“When the SHIELD files were dumped, Coulson’s existence was hinted at. There were flight plans for the Bus and mission reports with his name on them. Level seven classified, but when it all got dumped…” She shrugged. “He found out. Fury put me on undercover before I could even get here, so I suggested he recommend Mack join you, Sir. He thought I was just trying to help my friend find a job. Mack was watching to see if you were really who you say you are or if Fury was pulling a trick and then we’ve been watching to see how healthy you really are and reporting back.”

Coulson rubbed at his eyes. “Who all else knows?”

Bobbi gave him an apologetic smile. “Romanov knows. He says she’s busy though, so he just tells her important things.”

May narrowed her eyes. “Why does he even care? He’s the one that always left. Is he just pissed we didn’t come to him?” Jemma met Fitz’s eyes and mouthed ‘always?’ and he shrugged. He had no idea what was going on. 

Bobbi shrugged. “I didn’t ask. I didn’t even know he married again after me. We’re not really friends. He needed this done and I owe him more than enough debts. I just know he’s trustworthy and he knows the same about me.”

Fitz rankled at that. “Except obviously not if you two have been _spying_ on us all this time,” he said harshly.

Simmons waved a hand. “Hang on, who are we even talking about?” she asked, looking more than a little confused.

Hunter scoffed and May rolled her eyes before they, amusingly, answered at the same time. “Barton.” Hunter raised a finger to point at Mack and Bobbi. “So wait, when you said ‘call in real backup’ did you mean what I think you mean?” 

Bobbi gave him a sheepish look. “If you think I mean the Avengers then… yeah?” Fitz gaped and she glanced around. “Barton made a deal with me, said if we ever needed serious help, he gave me a number that will immediately go to all six of them with wherever our GPS location is.”

Coulson laughed humorlessly. “I’m going to kill him. For real this time. He’s going to die,” he said in a very non-Coulson sarcasm-laced hysterical tone. He pointed at Bobbi. “Get him here. Now. You two are going in a cell until he gets here after you make contact. May, take care of it,” he said, stalking out without a backwards glance.

Fitz handed May back her gun when she held out her hand and fumbled for a moment on what he should do. He looked across the room at Mack, who was staring at him with the most wounded expression, but Fitz couldn’t find any sympathy. He shook his head and turned to leave, going through the door May entered so he didn’t even have to walk past Mack to get out.

~

Fitz volunteered to get Skye to clear out of her cell on the bus. They couldn’t put both Bobbi and Mack in the cell they had kept Ward in, so they needed the cell she’d claimed as her own on the Bus. He knocked on the door and waited for her to say ‘come in’ before he opened the door. He ducked in and she sat up from where she was laying on the cot. “Erm. Hey,” he said softly, walking in slowly.

She frowned as she looked him over. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “You’ve been crying.”

He wiped at his eyes even though he knew they were just red by now. He huffed unhappily, sitting down beside her on the cot. “Yeah. I angry cry. If you hadn’t noticed. Anger and fear and suddenly I’m a bloody faucet,” he said and she smiled, knocking their shoulders together.

“What pissed you off so bad?” she asked and he swallowed hard, running his hands down his face to look up at the ceiling and just breathe a second. “Fitz?”

He looked at her and then looked straight ahead. “We- we need you to vacate your cell here. We need it for a prisoner.”

She frowned. “Why not use the cell downstairs?”

“We need two,” he said bitterly. “Because we have two traitors in our midst. Again.”

“What?!” Skye turned to face him, grabbing his arm. “What- who?! There aren’t two of us to be-“

“Mack and Bobbi,” Fitz whispered, silencing her. He looked at her and she was staring at him in shock. He smiled sadly. “I sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t I?”

She deflated some. “Oh Fitz, no-“

He shook his head. “I trusted Ward. He was- he was my friend. I trusted him nearly as much as I did Simmons. And he ruined me-“

“Fitz, you aren’t-“ He interrupted her and kept speaking.

“Then Simmons just- just tossed me aside. I thought she’d always be there, no matter what, and I get different and she just… left.” He bit his lip, looking at Skye. “Mack- Mack and I had a fight and I felt bad because- because I hurt him. I wanted to fix it, because… well, you know.”

She nodded in understanding. “You guys are basically best friends. You do everything together.”

Fitz raised an eyebrow. “Actually I meant because he’s damn gorgeous and for some insane reason, we were a few days off from being a _something_ ,” he said darkly. “Bastard.”

Skye’s eyes widened. “Whoa, really?! I didn’t- you never- I thought Simmons-“

“Well yeah, I thought I was in love with her, but obviously things changed,” he said, waving a hand. “The point is I went to apologize because I always sabotage myself when it comes to someone actually liking me, and I caught him stuffing Hunter’s body in the boot of the truck-“ She gasped and he grabbed her wrist. “No, no, Hunter’s fine. He was just unconscious, but I didn’t know that at the time so I ran and he chased me and I pulled a gun on him and the others all came in and turns out he’s been a plant this whole time. He and Bobbi are spying on us and reporting about us and mostly Coulson.”

“To Hydra?” Skye asked, and Fitz scoffed.

“No, it’s so stupid, and bloody unbelievable, really,” he said frankly. “Coulson apparently used to be married to one of the bloody _Avengers_ and so was Bobbi, just long before Coulson was, and their mutual ex-husband is stalking Coulson since it came about that he’s alive.” He shook his head. “They may not be Hydra, but they were spies all the same.” He gritted his teeth, pushing his hands against his eyes. “God, I feel so _stupid_. He lied to me about everything. All the asking questions about Coulson, all the wanting stories about before he got here, he just was using me to get intel on Coulson!” 

Skye tutted. “Aww man, I know how bad that sucks.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, holding his hand. “I felt so used when Ward pulled that crap on me. Granted, he was a psycho murderer. Mack just lied.”

Fitz sighed. “Doesn’t feel much better.” He made a face. “That arsehole called me ‘Baby’ in the middle of his babbled confession.”

Skye pulled a face. “Man, I really just cannot see it.” He gave her a wounded pout and she rolled her eyes. “No, Fitz, you’re cute!” she comforted. “I just mean… he’s… _Mack_ ,” she stressed. “He’s big, and muscly, and middle aged, and seems like he could break somebody in half. Then you’re this adorable little nerd that fumbles with your words – not talking about your speech problems, I mean in general awkwardness – and I just really don’t see it.”

Fitz smiled sadly. “I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought, but the Mack I thought I knew might be big and muscly and a bit older, but he’s so laid back and he’s a big dork and he’s sweet.” He closed his eyes. “He let me teach him things. And he seemed so amazed by what I could do even though I was so confused in my head and with my hands I barely managed to get anything done. And he laughed at my dumb science jokes and told me even funnier ones.” He bit his lip. “He made me feel like I wasn’t broken,” he admitted weakly.

Skye turned and hugged him. “I’m so sorry the guy you like turned out to be a lying jerk, too. We can be members of Club Screwed Over By Lying Hot Guys together.” Fitz laughed against her shoulder as she rubbed his back.

“Alright, alright.” He straightened up and nudged her. “Gotta get your stuff. We need to stick one of them in here. If you’re still scared of yourself, we can move you back in later on after we sort all this out,” he promised and she nodded, sighing as she stood up and turned to get her bag.

“I just finished unpacking,” she said with a dramatic eye roll.

Fitz chuckled. “Well I’ll help out, then. Get this over faster.”

~

Fitz and Skye rejoined the others, who were all watching the security feed on the cell downstairs. They’d put Mack and Bobbi in there together until Skye could empty her cell. “So I hear we have a rodent problem,” Skye said as they walked in. She walked over to Coulson, who was sitting in front of the screen they had pulled up in front of the couch, staring with a blank face. She sat down beside him on the couch and put an arm around his shoulders.

“We probably shouldn’t be here,” May said to Simmons, who looked shocked as she stared at the screen. “Skye, Hunter, will you come with us?” she asked.

Fitz started to follow her as she took Simmons’s elbow and started to leave, but she put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “You’ll want to hear what they’re talking about.” She hesitated. “Well you won’t want to hear it, but you’re entitled to hear them talking about you.”

Hunter put a hand on his shoulder as he passed. “Seems we’re in the same boat, Mate,” he said as he passed, leaving just Fitz and Coulson in the room.

Coulson nodded for Fitz to join him and turned the audio feed back on. “Sorry about this. I just need to hear anything they have to say about their spying.”

Fitz frowned. “What’re they talking about me for?”

Coulson gave him a wry grin. “Apparently they’re fighting about what Mack should’ve done when you caught him. Bobbi says he should’ve caught you and kept you there with him and Hunter until she could help sort things out. Thinks that you two could’ve made a deal with them since she claims ‘it wasn’t like betrayal’.”

“Eurgh, bloody likely story,” he muttered in disgust. Neither person on screen had spoken for since Coulson turned on the sound again, both of them pacing on opposite ends of the cell. “I can’t be-“

He stopped when Bobbi turned to Mack and started talking. “It’s really amusing that you gave me the ‘stop this with Hunter’ thing when all along you were apparently up to the same damn thing with Fitz-“

“No, I was doing what I needed to and _not_ getting involved with him, just like you should’ve with him,” Mack argued, “I managed to keep it in my pants, like you should have, but oh no, Hunter joins up and you jump back into bed with him!”

She glared. “It’s complicated, okay?! Things were good for now and I can’t help that I still have something for him. Besides, that’s entirely different. You know my history with Hunter, you didn’t have to set your sights on someone when you joined up when you knew all along what we were doing!”

Coulson cleared his throat, glancing at Fitz, who couldn’t help blushing, even as he glared at the screen. Coulson looked amused. “I didn’t realize-“

“Nothing. Happened,” Fitz said tightly, eyes locked on the screen.

Mack gestured at Bobbi. “No, I’m not saying it’s your fault you put me here, but it’s also not my fault that you put me undercover with the perfect guy, Bobbi!” Fitz scoffed and rolled his eyes at the nerve Mack had. 

Bobbi rolled her eyes at him. “Oh right. You find a cute little white boy – like always – and you lock your sights on him-“

“Fitz is different!” Mack interrupted. He groaned and sunk down to sit on the cot. “Bobbi… it’s not the same. Not this time. You- you had to go and put me with the team that had the most amazing person I’ve ever met on it.” He laughed humorlessly. “I thought he’d be an easy way to get information at first, because everybody ignored him and I thought he’d jump at the chance to talk to somebody. They all just shoved him off in a lab and left him there,” he said and Fitz’s chest tightened at the truth behind his words. “But he seemed to think I was making fun of him when I tried to talk to him. And to be so- so depressed and so lonely he still just tried to push me away, and something about how even when he could barely form a sentence he was still so strong made it harder to remember I was supposed to get information from him.”

Bobbi rolled her eyes. “You’re too laid back to go for a challenge, Mack. I don’t see why this one is different-“

“Because he’s _perfect_ ,” Mack said heavily. He shook his head, looking up at her. “I honestly forgot I was on a mission when I was with him. He can do things I’ve never thought were possible. He’s brilliant and it made me mad the way they all treated him. He had trouble using his words and using his hands but he was still the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, and he’s funny, and he’s damn well probably the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He smiled sadly. “He’s good. Too good for me. He’s brave in ways I never have been and never will be. Look at what he did for Skye,” he said, gesturing to the wall. “I don’t necessarily agree with him, I’m very ‘save my own ass’ about everything, but he’s not! He told me he’d rather die than side with taking out the gifted individuals for being different. He thinks it’s genocide-“

“Yeah, right,” Bobbi said rolling her eyes.

Mack shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t look at it that way. But- well after what he said it made me think. I don’t think I agree, not really, but it made me look at it. And it’s always like that with him. He makes me look at stuff differently. He makes me look at the whole world differently. He sees the world in a different way than the average person, and he’s too damn incredible for the shit he’s been put through,” he said vehemently. “I knew the minute you came back and started bumping up our schedule that this was going to go bad with him. That’s why I’ve been holding back from doing anything about it. But trust me, Bobbi.” He shook his head. “It’s not another ‘go for the cute guy’. It’s not a type thing. He’s perfect. He’s the perfect guy. And now I’ve did the same damn thing that last dude did-“

Fitz couldn’t fight a sound of disgust. “Damn bloody well right you did, you lying bastard,” he gritted out as he stood up and walked around back of the couch, tugging at his hair. He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t listen to Mack _lying_. He was lying. If Mack had ever given a damn about him, he wouldn’t have used him for information. He knew that both Bobbi and Mack knew about the audio in that cell. “They know we’re watching,” he said firmly. “They know we can hear them. They- they’re saying stuff to try and get us to give them- give them-“ He whimpered, putting his face in his hands. His words had been working all day so far. They’d been right. “Give them… I-“

“Sympathy,” Coulson said softly and Fitz laughed weakly.

“Yeah. That,” he whimpered. He rubbed at his face. “Sympathy. They- they want to manipulate us. They- they’re no better than Ward.”

Coulson chuckled dryly. “Well they’re not Nazis trying to take over SHIELD. So they’re a little better than Ward. Just lying about their intentions-“

“It’s still lying and using our- our trust. And manipulating us. She- she saw her opportunity to use Hunter when she got here and he was with us, and- and Mack just talked about targeting me because I was alone and- and he knew I’d like the attention. He was just- just using me. He’d ask questions. About before. About you-“

Coulson gave him a sad smile. “To relay to someone who has no right to ask them. It’s still not Hyrdra. Maybe he does care about-“

“I don’t CARE if he gives a damn about me!” Fitz snapped. “The last time someone I trusted cared about me, it was my friend dumping me into the damn ocean! Ward thought he was doing us a favor by killing us instead of letting them torture us, and look where that got me! Ward did care about me, he was my friend, and because of it he tried to- to _mercy kill_ me! And Simmons abandoned me because she thought it made me better after I tried to give my _life_ to save her!” He gestured to himself. “You see, when people care about me, they break me! They damage me more and more! All he wanted to do was _use me_ to betray us all!” He shook his head. “He said it himself. He’s no better than Ward.”

Fitz couldn’t even stand to look back as he stalked out, enraged and humiliated and tired of trusting anybody with anything.

~

Everybody had been, understandably, interested in Coulson’s Avenger ex when he arrived. It was no surprise that most everybody had gathered outside Coulson’s office to listen to the shouting going on inside.

“YOU HAD NO RIGHT-“

“I HAD EVERY RIGHT! YOU WERE ALIVE AFTER WE WERE TOLD-“

“AND WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?! MY LIFE DOESN’T INVOLVE YO-“

“YOU REALLY THINK I WAS OKAY WITH NOT KNOW-“

“FURY MADE HIS CALL AND YOU WEREN’T-“

“I WAS LEVEL SEVEN ANYWA-“

“I DON’T CARE!”

May rolled her eyes with a sigh, glancing over at the others. “If I were you, I’d give it half an hour,” she said to everybody waiting around. “It’ll be a while.”

Fitz glanced at Simmons, who grimaced. “You know, I could use some tea,” she said and Fitz scrambled up from where he was leaning against the wall, stepping out into the hall.

“Sounds like a good idea.” He glanced at Hunter. “Tea?”

Hunter shrugged. “May as well. Skye, you want some?” he asked and she smiled and nodded, standing up from the floor where she’d been sitting.

“Yeah, tea’s good for calming things down. I could use some of that,” she said, nodding at the door. “Somebody’s angry enough for all of us it would seem.” They started down the hall and Skye glanced back at May. “You coming?” she asked, but May just shook her head, sitting down on the floor.

“Nah, someone needs to make sure Barton doesn’t run for it and escape,” she said, patting her ICER at her hip. 

Fitz snorted. “Bloody well better not,” he said, and Skye smiled sadly and hooked her arm through his.

“C’mon. I’ll even share my chocolate with you,” she comforted, making Fitz perk up just a little.

~

When they got back, May was thumping her head against the wall behind her while the sounds of crashes and thuds from inside the office behind her filled the hall. Simmons gasped and broke into a run. “Oh my God, why are you just sitting here?!” she cried.

Hunter ran after her. “They’re gonna bloody kill one another-“

May cut them off and put a leg across the door to stop Hunter from grabbing the knob. “You don’t wanna do that.”

Hunter stared at her. “Are you mad? They’re-“

“Fucking violently,” May said flatly, rolling her eyes. “Give it a minute, you’ll hear more than just a few thuds and bangs.”

Simmons turned bright red and Fitz gasped. “Are you sure?” he asked and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“This happens probably one time out of three when they fight.” She shrugged. “Everybody’s got that one ex that makes them crazy but still turns them on.”

Skye scrunched up her nose. “Ewwwww, I don’t wanna hear that!”

Fitz nodded, grimacing as, sure enough, May’s ‘evidence’ could be heard by the sound of a rough moan from inside the office. “Well, I’ll never look Coulson in the eyes again now,” he said and Hunter snorted.

“Oh fun. He’s got his own evil ex like mine. We can commiserate about it.” He made a face when there was a loud bang against the door and a shouted curse. “Later,” he said, turning away and stalking off. 

Fitz cleared his throat and grabbed Skye’s hand. “I’d say we should-“

“Yep, I’m with you!” she said, and they hurried off, Simmons running after them with a shout.

“Wait for me!”

~

When Coulson called everybody to the meeting room, May and Hunter went to Bobbi and Mack’s cells to let them out and bring them up. Fitz still flinched when he saw Mack’s cuffed wrists as he was led into the room by Hunter. 

Coulson stood at the front of the table, on the opposite end from a man Fitz recognized from SHIELD corridors but never had spoken to. “Daaaamn,” Barton said, whistling as Mack was led past. “I didn’t know your man on the inside was from a STRIKE team, Bob,” he said and Mack gave him a glare as Hunter sat him down at the end near Coulson. 

“Man, I ain’t no damn STRIKE agent,” he grunted unhappily.

Bobbi was put across from Mack and she threw a look at Coulson then at Barton and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, you two fucked already? Figured it would take at least another day.”

“I knew the minute Coulson wanted to yell at him alone they’d screw,” May said, sitting beside Bobbi to keep an eye on her the same way Hunter sat beside Mack. 

“Can we please not go there,” Coulson said sternly, though his cheeks were a little red.

May raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you should’ve kept it in your pants if you wanted us to not go there-“

“Wow, you always did hate me, Mel,” Barton said, kicking his feet up on the table. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Jealousy must keep you young-“

“That’s enough!” Coulson snapped, shouting as he pointed at Barton. “Stop making this about that.” He pointed at May. “And you have no room to talk between Ward and _your_ ex, so stop fighting with him.”

Mack looked extremely confused and a traitorous part of Fitz’s brain thought it was adorable before the rest of him remembered that Mack was a lying traitor who still wanted to ‘take care of’ Skye. “Man, I’m so out of the loop around here,” he said slowly.

Bobby pointed her cuffed hands at Barton. “Coulson’s Hunter, has always thought May wanted in Coulson’s pants and was jealous of him,” she pointed at Coulson, “Had sex with him while we were locked up and everybody knows it.”

Mack gave her a flat look. “Yeah, I got that much, thanks.”

Hunter rolled his eyes. “Can we get to the part where my She-Devil ex-wife is a traitor, her best friend _strangled me unconscious_ and then tried to kill Fitz, please?”

Coulson nodded. “Yes, we can-“

“I did not try to kill Fitz!” Mack defended.

Skye glared at him. “No, you just tried to seduce him even though you were lying to us the whole time, just like Ward did me! The same Ward that _almost killed FitzSimmons_ -“

“Don’t compare me to that bastard,” Mack argued. “I never tried to hurt a damn one of you-“

Fitz snorted, stepping away from the wall. “Except Skye, right? She’s fair game because she’s different now, oh, and not to mention choking Hunter unconscious and stuffing him in the boot of a truck-“

“Turbo, you know me-“

“APPARENTLY NOT!” Fitz shouted, slamming a hand on the table as he leaned over it. “You’re a liar! Everything! All of it was lies! You were lying to me to use me! You just wanted information because Bobbi put you up to it! Hell, she was probably planning to do the same thing to Simmons before she realized Hunter was here and that threw a wrench in her ‘seduce the pretty little Dr. Simmons to get all the information she has’ plan!”

Bobbi opened her mouth, then bit her lip. “Uh… maybe?” she admitted and Coulson glared harder at her. “What? I was considering it! I probably would’ve changed my mind about it even if Hunter hadn’t been here-“

Fitz waved a hand. “Wouldn’t have worked, Simmons is straight, she worked that out after that party first year-“

Simmons cleared her throat, blushing. “Fitz, made your point, don’t you think?”

He cringed, giving her an apologetic look. “Sorry.” He deflated some, shoving a hand through his hair. “Erm, yeah. Basically-“

Skye picked up for him. “You both suck.”

Barton laughed from his end of the table. “Oh man, this is amusing. I almost understand why you kept it all secret from me and Nat.”

Coulson rubbed at his forehead. “Barton-“ He stopped, sighing. “Clint, I’m sorry I shut you and Natasha out, but it wasn’t my call.”

Barton gave him a long, searching look. “Yeah, course it wasn’t.” He nodded, looking down at his hands as he picked at his nails. “Not like we weren’t your family or anything. No, letting us keep thinking you were dead for so long, didn’t hurt at all-“

“You divorced _me_ , don’t you dare pull the ‘hurt’ bullshit into it,” Coulson said in a very calm tone. “When we met up in New Mexico four years ago, you handed me divorce papers and said it was the last time, so I accepted that and I got over it and I met someone else and moved on with my life. You don’t get to pull the ‘hurt’ shit when you were the one that walked away,” he said coldly. Even Skye winced at his tone.

Barton just smiled tightly, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, because when I let my husband go so he could be happy for once, that totally meant I didn’t give a shit if he lived or died.” He shrugged one shoulder. “No, of course it’s insane that I could find out the man I loved for ten years wasn’t as dead as I thought he was and get an old friend with an in to get me messages about his wellbeing.”

“His wellbeing?” May asked in disbelief. “You expect us to believe that Morse and Mackenzie were relaying messages about Coulson’s wellbeing?”

Mack sighed, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t realize that’s what it was, but yeah, we were,” he said, making a face. “I knew we were working under the assumption that he wasn’t who he really was and then that he was changed, like enhanced. Then the directive changed to monitor his carving when he was going insane about that damn map before we knew what it was. Then when he went into that machine and freaked out and we had to hunt him down, I assumed he was psychotic and we were monitoring his breakdown in case he had to be taken out to keep the rest of y’all safe.” He glared at Bobbi. “I didn’t realize we were making sure he was alright for his petty ass ex to stalk him, Bobbi.”

She sighed. “Mack, if I’d told you it was my first ex, would you have done it?”

“Hell no! I didn’t know he was Coulson’s ex, but I always thought he was a pompous jerk, always trashing shit left and right and expecting us mechanics to just fix it right up, no fault of his, and I didn’t even know what he looked like,” he said and Bobbi nodded.

“And I knew that you didn’t like him, so I didn’t tell you what it was for. Just a friend needed intel.” She looked at Coulson. “It’s the truth, Sir. Barton was stalking you because he was scared you weren’t really you and then he was scared they’d did something to you, and other than observing you, everything else Mack and I have done for SHIELD has been legitimate.”

Coulson looked between them, and sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “Well you’re not Hydra,” he said tiredly and Hunter jumped.

“What? That’s it? They’re not Hydra, so lying and spying and reporting back to others gets them off the shit list?!” he demanded.

Coulson shrugged, looking at May. “She did the same thing and we got over it eventually. After a while, we stopped being so upset at her betrayal.” He looked at Bobbi and Mack. “I need you two too much to kick you out for this, but do not expect me to trust you with a damn thing. Morse, you don’t get any ‘I’ve got a contact, wait for me here’, you are not doing anything without supervision. At all. No going anywhere that you’re not under surveillance.” He looked at Mack. “Congratulations, you’re back out of the field,” he said and Mack looked down at his hands. “And stay out of the lab. You’re on the Bus in the garage and that’s it. If I find out you went to the lab to harass Fitz, I swear to God, I will lock you in a cell until he decides you’re free to go. If he’s in a room when you get there, you turn around and leave unless he gives you express permission to stay.” He shook his head. “I do not take emotional manipulation lightly, and especially not after what Ward did to him once before. You’re lucky I’m not letting Skye take you out back and shoot you for using her friend like that,” he said coldly.

Mack looked for the world like he wanted to defend himself, but Fitz didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t wait any longer before turning to leave, arms wrapped around himself as he stalked the long, empty hallway back to his room to get a little time on his own.

~

Fitz did not at all expect to come into the lounge and find Coulson’s ex sprawled across the couch, drinking a beer and using a tablet. He thought about turning around and leaving, especially since Xbox reminded him of Mack, but he really needed something to do for his hands and it was the one thing he knew helped him get his hands back under control.

“Care to move?” he asked bluntly.

Barton looked up, brightening when he spotted Fitz. “Oh hey, Fitz, right?” He sat up straighter, crossing his legs under him. “You used to build my shit, right?”

Fitz grumbled as he turned on the Xbox and got the controller. “If you mean did I design your weapons, then yes.” He tried to ignore him but Barton seemed intent to pester him.

“So you and Mack, huh-“

“Fuck off,” Fitz grumbled and Barton snickered.

“No, really, how did that happen?” he asked and Fitz ignored him, gritting his teeth in silence. “C’mon, talk to me, Kid-“

“I’m not a bloody child!” Fitz snapped, turning to glare at him. “And you have no right to even speak to any of us like that. Do you have any idea what your bullshit has done to our team?! A team that was already fractured at that! And for what?! To be a nosey git-“

“Okay, chill out, Braveheart,” Barton said, holding his hands up. Fitz just narrowed his eyes, cheeks flushing with rage. “I get it, you guys all hate me, good for you. I just don’t get why this is such a big deal.” He shrugged. “SHIELD is about secrets and lies, it’s not like they were HYDRA.”

Fitz scoffed. “Yeah and it’s not like you’re even SHIELD, so you have no fuckin’ clue how things are around here and what all we’re dealing with.” He shook his head. “I’m so _sick_ of being the fool that trusts people who end up BETRAYING me, and you contributed to _two_ of our teammates manipulating us. Especially since we were already pretty divided over those arseholes being fucking genocidal-“

“Whoa, what?” Barton asked shortly. “Genocide?! Who the hell said anything about genocide?”

Fitz groaned, rubbing at his face with his hands. “It’s far too long of a story, but the short of it is that there are… people. Who have been transformed into something- something inhuman,” Fitz said. “We discovered this so we’re reevaluating the gifted index-“

“Wow, you guys still use that thing?” he asked and Fitz glared until he shut up again.

“Skye was one of the people changed. She’s- she has powers. That she can’t control. Whenever she’s upset or scared she makes rooms shake, like a localized earthquake.” He rubbed at his temples. “I- I found out and I hid it. I faked her blood tests so nobody else noticed. She was scared and they were already talking about how to- to _eradicate the abominations_ ,” he hissed. He stood and started pacing. “They were all going on and on about how they’re dangerous and we have to be able to kill them if necessary and Skye and I were hearing all of this, so I hid it until this fucking _alien_ came and he scared her in front of everybody and she broke some windows and stuff and then shot herself with a tranquilizer to stop it. Then when they all found out it was all ‘Oh Fitz, you should’ve told us, Skye’s different’ like they weren’t just talking about _genocide_ -“

Barton whistled. “Man, that’s insane. You pals didn’t have time to report THAT back to me.”

Fitz glared at him. “Yes, well, they wouldn’t seeing as immediately after them all accusing me of being a sneak for protecting my friend after they all started on about genocide, ignoring the fact that making an exception for Skye is no better than ‘kill them all!’ because it’s like ‘let’s kill all the sharks, except my pet shark’-“

Barton snorted. “I get it, that’s really a scary outlook they have, huh?” he said and Fitz deflated, flopping down again.

“Yes, it is. It’s- it’s terrifying. I understand they’re doing it out of fear but-“ He bit his lip. “Different isn’t always _evil_. Skye’s not evil. She’s dangerous, sure, but so am I. So are you. So are most of us, you know?” He looked at Barton. “If you were here to kill us, you’d have killed Coulson when you were fucking him, then possibly killed May when she was in the hall cause she would think the noise was just sex and not be on her guard, then pick us all off, possibly before any of us could even raise an alarm.” H gestured to himself. “I could build a fucking weapon of mass destruction out of the stuff I have on hand in the lab. I could kill us all faster than Skye. The only difference is she’s scared of that because she can’t control it. That’s not a reason to _kill_ her or any of the others like her. They’re just- just different and scared and probably alone with that fear.” Fitz bit his knuckle, staring ahead. “I just- I was already upset and I said some cruel things to Mack and I went to apologize and he’d knocked Hunter out and I caught him stuffing his body into the boot of a truck-“

“Well that’s a romance killer,” he said and Fitz sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

“I fucking went to _apologize_ and he’s a fucking- fucking traitor. Just like Ward,” he said bitterly.

Barton rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, that guy’s hot, you seriously can’t be ready to kick that out of bed over some lies-“

“The last person who lied about their intentions with the team drowned me and I suffered _permanent_ brain damage,” Fitz snapped. “I’m- I’m only twenty-seven and for the rest of my _life_ I’ll have days where I can barely use my left hand and have trouble finding words. The words are a lot better lately, but the hand is a nightmare,” he said, holding up his left hand to show the twitching of his fingers that he couldn’t control. He shook his head. “Can’t trust anybody except-“ He snorted. “Hell, can’t trust Jemma. Can’t trust May, she tried to shoot me once. Coulson’s the only one who I can trust and he shut me up in a lab and left me there.” He laughed darkly. “Just me and Skye now I guess. We’re all each other’s got.” He looked over at Barton. “So thanks for your two moles in our midst fucking things up. Again.”

~

It hurt.

Every time he saw Mack in the halls, the way Mack looked at him caused him to ache. Mack’s big, sad eyes were like a dagger to the heart because he knew Mack did care about him and yet he couldn’t get past the lies. Mack lied. He used him. The fact he really did care about him didn’t matter.

You weren’t supposed to lie to people you loved. You just weren’t.

Mack kept to Coulson’s orders, though. He never tried to approach Fitz. He never bothered him. Fitz had an idea Mack understood how hurt Fitz was and how much more it would hurt if Mack tried to talk to him. Mack was respectful, at least, Fitz reckoned. He could be pestering like Bobbi was Hunter. Every time he came past Hunter, Bobbi was trying to bother him about something. They still hadn’t let Barton leave, so often she and Barton were working together to bug Hunter about something.

Coulson seemed to be as angry as Fitz was about the whole situation. Fitz was pretty certain after that first day, Coulson did his best to avoid his ex-husband as much as possible. Going by the way Barton seemed to grow more and more desperate for Coulson’s attention, Fitz assumed he was doing a damn good job of avoiding him.

Skye had taken back her cell, but Fitz often found himself coming to sit and visit with her, both of them trying not to think about the way their friends betraying them felt like Ward all over again. No matter that Mack and Bobbi would never do what Ward did. 

Didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

~

Fitz fucked up. 

He fucked up _bad_.

“Fitz?!” He looked up and Coulson was staring at him fearfully. “What is that? What is-“

“It’s harmless. Maybe,” Fitz said, rushing over to the panel by the door of the lab. He hit the keys to lockdown the lab, slamming the doors shut and hermetically sealing them, then turned back. “Probably safe, but-“

“Look little nerd dude, get a grip and tell me if I’m GOING TO DIE!” Barton demanded, holding a hand over his bleeding forearm. 

Fitz had been working on a potential tracer for gifted humans for when and ICER wasn’t enough when Coulson came in with something wrong with his ICER he wanted Fitz to look at. Jemma had been out of the lab, and Fitz was pouring a solution into a beaker when, from the _ceiling_ , Coulson’s ex dropped from the air vent and scared the hell out of Fitz, who then dropped the beaker, causing the solution to spread across the floor, and Coulson’s ex to slip and fall and land on a shard of glass. Which wouldn’t be much of a problem. If the solution wasn’t radioactive.

Fitz made sure everything was sealed then turned to Barton. “You won’t die, but you need to decontaminate. And take potassium iodide for a few days. But for now, we’re all radioactive-“

“What the hell, Fitz?!” Coulson asked, eyebrows high in shock. “You’re using radioactive materials in the lab?”

Fitz walked over to the sink to wash off his gloves before ripping them off and going to get another pair. “We were working on a tracer for gifted individuals. Radioiodine gives off a specific signature. We were working on a theory, but that was all the radioiodine we had, so thanks, Barton, now we have to start over and hope you don’t get thyroid cancer-“

“ _Thyroid cancer_?” Coulson asked again, looking at Barton, who went pale.

Fitz shook his head. “Hopefully not, but there’s always a possibility.” He came back and grabbed Barton, dragging him over to the sink. He got down the chemicals he needed to decontaminate Barton’s wound and began to tug out the glass shards. “Why the bloody hell were you in the air vents?” he demanded.

Barton hissed in pain and Coulson sighed. “He does that. He has a thing for air vents. I knew it would bite him in the ass one day.”

“Gee, thanks, Honey, feelin’ the love,” Barton drawled and Fitz snorted.

“Well seeing as you divorced him, I wouldn’t expect too much positivity from him regarding you,” he muttered more to himself than either of them. 

Coulson chuckled darkly. “And yet, he still seems to think I should have forgiven him for that little detail,” he said, pacing. “Fitz, are you and I in danger?”

Fitz shook his head. “No, we should be fine. It has to get into the blood stream to be a real threat. I’d recommend you and I taking turns decontaminating over there in the shower, and taking a few doses of potassium iodide, but the real risk is whether enough of this got into his blood to give him cancer. It takes more than on exposure usually, but if this got in his blood, he could be pretty well and truly fucked.” He finished irrigating Barton’s wound and bandaged it up before letting him go. “Good news is, thyroid cancer is very treatable so you probably won’t die,” he said, then gestured to the decontamination shower. “In.”

Barton eyed the glass tube and turned back with a grin. “Admit it, Kid, you just wanna see me naked.”

Fitz sighed, rolling his eyes. “I cannot express to you how little I care about seeing you naked, you team-ruining arsehole. You’re hot as shite, but I dislike you enough I couldn’t enjoy your bare bum if I tried,” he said bluntly. 

Coulson chuckled. “Wow, Fitz, I didn’t think anybody disliked Clint more than May, but you might take that prize.” He sat on one of the lab stools while Fitz mopped up the broken glass and spilled solution, eyes flickering back to the shower every once in a while.

“So, Fitz, why do you hate me so bad?” Barton asked from the shower, voice echoing in the glass tube. “I mean, it’s not my fault my minions were hot.”

Fitz spluttered. “That has- there’s nothing-“ He gritted his teeth. “For the last time, it’s not about the fact I was nearly dating one of them, it’s the fact that I made friends with two more people who were just looking to betray us. Last time the new awesome friend turned around and tried to kill me and Simmons and I don’t like being fooled twice in the same year like that.” He huffed. “This is why I have trust issues. I can’t trust a bloody one of you. Except Skye.” He waved hand. “And probably Coulson since I trust Skye and Coulson would never do anything she would disapprove of or let anybody hurt her and she’d never let anybody hurt me.”

Barton huffed out a soft laugh as he came out of the shower, dripping and naked, to take lab coat Fitz had in lieu of clothes. “See? I was right about you after all.”

Coulson raised an eyebrow, studiously keeping his gaze on Barton’s face. “Right about me what?”

“That you wanted a normal life,” Barton said, shrugging. “Even though you died before you could get it, you still managed to adopt a kid the first time out of the gates in your afterlife.”

Coulson frowned. “What?” he asked in confusion. “You thought I wanted a normal life?”

Barton shrugged, looking down awkwardly. “Yeah,” he said simply. He tied the lab coat around his middle since it was too short to cover himself put on the right way, then sat across from Fitz as Coulson went to take his turn decontaminating. He didn’t even pretend to not stare at Coulson as he stripped down and got in the shower. “Shit, that’s a hell of a scar,” he muttered and Fitz glanced, risking an unwanted eyeful of naked Coulson, to get a look at the scar he meant. It really was gruesome. “That was my fault, you know?” he said to Fitz, who turned around with a frown.

“I thought Loki-“

“Loki stabbed me, Clint,” Coulson called over in a gentler tone than he’d been using with Barton. “You didn’t kill me.”

Clint shrugged, rubbing at his jaw. “I’m the reason he was able to get out to stab you. No amount of therapy makes you stop believing you’re the reason your husband died.”

“Ex-husband,” Fitz pointed out and Barton raised an eyebrow at him.

“Just because I let him go doesn’t mean I didn’t still think of him as my husband, Kid-“

“About that, why do you keep using that phrasing,” Coulson demanded, stalking back over with another lab coat wrapped around his middle. “You didn’t ‘let me go’. You divorced me. I’m tired of you playing the husband card to my agents,” he said a little harder than before. “You showed up with divorce papers after three months apart without warning, that’s not ‘letting me go’. You let someone go when you get off the phone, Clint, you don’t ‘let me go’ when you _divorce_ someone.”

“It does when I didn’t want to!” Barton snapped, and Fitz used the stunned silence as his way to sneak over to the decontamination shower and clean off without having his boss or his boss’s ex staring at him while he did so.

Part of him wanted to avoid the awkwardness but the gossipy part of him tuned in to every word after that point.

“What do you mean you didn’t want-“

“I didn’t want to let you go, Phil. I divorced you because you weren’t happy-“

“In what world did I ever say I wasn’t happy-“

“We never got to be together, and when we did you would watch families with this sad look, and I knew as much as we fought it was doomed one day, so I decided to let you go so you could meet a good woman and have kids and have your normal life rather than drag our marriage out until it was too late for you to do that,” Barton said in a rush, and Fitz nearly slipped in the shower out of shock.

After a long pause that Fitz dearly wished he could see from where he was, Coulson spoke. “You pulled a fucking _Amy Pond_ on me?!” he demanded, sounding angry.

At that, Fitz did slip and slammed his elbow against the glass. Firstly, he was shocked Coulson used that reference, secondly, he was shocked anybody in real life would be so stupid as to pull an Amy Pond. “Bloody hell, are you absolutely insane?!” he asked out loud, only to flush when both his boss and his boss’s ex looked at him while he was standing naked in a glass tube. “Erm, look away, please?” he begged, hands covering himself awkwardly.

Barton grunted. “I don’t know who Amy Pond is, but I gave you up so you could be happy, Phil. And clearly it was the right move, because you started dating that musician not even three months later and you guys were really great together. She made you way happier than I ever did,” he said sadly, gesturing to Phil. “Then you died, and that fucked it all up, and that was once again my fault-“

“It is not your fault I died,” Coulson said sternly. “Clint…” He trailed off, staring at him. “What did I ever do to make you think I wasn’t happy with our marriage?” he asked, and Fitz looked away from the sad look on Coulson’s face as he got out and put on the lab coat – which was long enough on him to wear as a robe – and dried at the floor outside the decontamination shower as best he could with a rag from the tool chest. 

“All we did was fight when we were apart, Phil. When we were together, things were okay, but distance fucked us up. That wasn’t making you happy. Especially when most of our marriage was apart,” Barton said in the most downtrodden voice Fitz had heard in ages. “And you smiled more with Audrey than I ever saw when we were together. And now you have Skye, and you’re a better father than I’d ever even imagined.”

Coulson made a face. “I am not Skye’s father.”

Fitz scoffed. “Yeah and I’m a hobbit,” he muttered, startling Coulson, who hadn’t noticed he’d gotten out of the shower.

Barton just smirked. “Well you’re tiny and curly-“

“I’ll shoot you in the arse,” Fitz said dryly. He looked at Coulson and shrugged. “You’re definitely the dad around here, sir. Less of one for me and Jemma than you are for Skye, but you did once tell me ‘We’ll be talking about this when I get home’ like a cross mum,” he said and Coulson winced.

“I’m not even old enough-“

“Honey, you’re definitely old enough,” Barton interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Skye’s what, twenty-five? Half your age. My parents were nineteen when I was born, seventeen when Barney was. You’re ‘normal people’ old enough to be Skye’s dad.”

Coulson chuckled with a comical wince. “Oh great, I’m old now.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “You really divorced me because your self-esteem is so damn low you thought I’d be better without you?”

“It was true!” he defended, throwing out an arm. “You and Audrey-“

“Yeah, I met someone three months after we divorced because I was convinced I was so undesirable my husband didn’t even want to talk about it before leaving me, so I didn’t hold back from starting something serious with the first decent person who would have me!” Coulson argued. “I met a good woman and didn’t hold back because I knew there was no hope of fixing things with you and I was determined to prove to myself I wasn’t that bad of a partner! I never did a damn thing to make you think I didn’t want you, Clint!” Fitz winced at how angry Coulson seemed. “Everybody argues. Couples have rough patches. We were married for five goddamn years, it was bound to not be blue skies the whole time! I never wanted anybody else. I never wished you were somebody you weren’t. I hated being apart but it came with the job we both had long before we got together! I knew you were flakey from when we dated on and off for all those years, but I thought marriage was all you needed to see I wasn’t going to change my mind, and YOU left ME and you act like it was some self-sacrificing bullshit?!”

“Hey, fuck you, giving you up was the hardest thing I ever did, Phil, don’t act like-“

“What? Like you’re a fucking dumbass-“

“Fitz?!” Fitz had never been happier to hear his own name than to interrupt the most awkward argument he’d ever had to witness. He rushed over to the door, looking through the glass at Simmons. “Fitz, why are you in lockdown-“

“On thank GOD, Simmons! You took your sweet time returning!” he complained, ignoring the way she glanced to the side, looking uneasy. “Look, it’s not that serious, but we need some techs with bunny suits and Geiger counters. There was a radiation spill-“ Fitz was cut off by the last voice he wanted to hear while he was already stressed.

“Radiation spill, are you okay?” Mack stepped up behind Simmons, looking over her shoulder at him. “What happened? You in there alone, Turbo?” he asked, brow furrowed worriedly.

Fitz tugged his ‘robe’ tighter and glared up at Mack. “I thought I told you to stop calling me that,” he asked angrily and Mack rolled his eyes.

“Technically, you told me to not call you ‘Baby’,” he countered. He leaned closer to the glass. “Fitz, seriously, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Fitz grumbled but sighed, deflating some. “I’m fine. Coulson and his ex-husband are in here. Barton needs potassium iodide since he got radioactive glass in him, the sooner the better, but we can’t break quarantine until we’re sure none of us are still contaminated. We all took decontamination showers and I left our clothes in there, but chances are Coulson and I should take a few doses of it as well. We should be fine, though.” He shrugged. “Barton could get thyroid cancer, but that’s very treatable if he does. And most likely we won’t if he takes the prophylactic tablets.” He glanced back at the lab. “I would’ve called you but my phone is in the other room and I didn’t want to touch the computers in case I’m still contaminated. We can’t afford to buy a whole new computer array when it’s not that serious.”

Simmons nodded. “Right, well I’ll round up a decontamination team. It’ll be alright. Just a mo,” she said, ducking to the right.

Mack stayed there, looking at Fitz. “You’re not just putting on for her, right? You really are fine?” he asked in a meek tone that was very unlike him.

Fitz chuckled weakly. “I’m fine, Mack.” He rolled his eyes. “You just don’t quit, do you?” he asked with a dry laugh.

Mack sighed. “Fitz, you hating me doesn’t change that I care about you and I worry about your wellbeing.”

“I don’t _hate_ you,” Fitz grumbled, crossing his arms as he looked at him. “You just- I don’t _trust_ you either.”

Mack nodded, smiling sadly. “I know. And I’ll never stop being sorry I fucked up and lost your trust. I know it’s my fault. I got in this mess on my own.”

“Well,” Fitz said, tilting his head. “Bobbi had a fair bit to do with that, too. She asked you to do something and I get why you’d do it. In the past, Simmons could suggest anything and I’d do it. Hell, that’s how I got here. I was perfectly happy in a cushy SHIELD lab, not on the Bus, but she wanted adventure and it’s just how we worked. Where one goes, the other follows.”

Mack smiled. “Yeah. That’s kinda what I miss about me and you.” He looked down with a shy smile. “We’d got to the point where we were always together. Either you were in the garage with me or I was in the lab with you or we were off doing something else together in the downtime.” He glanced up. “I really miss you, Fitz.”

It hurt, Fitz realized. The sad look in Mack’s eyes hurt him in a way he didn’t really expect. It didn’t help that he felt the same, beneath the distrust and anger. “I miss you too, Mack,” he all but whispered, feeling the sting of tears burning at the corners of his eyes. “I just wish-“ He stopped, looking to the side, nail scratching at the metal bar across the door. “I just wish you hadn’t- hadn’t lied,” he said, voice breaking a little. He sniffled some, biting his bottom lip. “I wanted us to have something. I was already upset with the whole ‘genocide’ thing, but that was just something that scared me. It wasn’t- it wasn’t going to make me stop talking to you or anything. But I can’t-“ He looked up at Mack, meeting his eyes. “I can’t stop the part of me that keeps going ‘if he hid so much and lied so much, what if he’s just like Ward?’ and I don’t want to think that, Mack, but I just-“ He ducked his head, wiping a tear off his face. “I trusted people before and paid a terrible price for it. And I can’t- I can’t stop being scared of you.”

Mack made a soft sound, but nodded. “I know, Turbo. I understand.” He smiled a heartbroken smile, looking at him. “I wouldn’t trust me either, if I was you, Fitz. After what that bastard did to you, I wouldn’t trust a damn thing anybody that lies to you says. I know I’d never hurt you, but you can’t trust that, and I understand.” He shrugged. “I’ll just have to prove myself to you. I don’t care how long it takes, Baby.” He took a breath and looked Fitz in the eyes, holding his gaze until Fitz almost started to get lost in those big, beautiful brown eyes. “I love you, Fitz. And one day I’ll do good enough to prove it to you, and you’ll be able to trust me because I worked for it. Because right now, I don’t deserve a damn thing from you. I don’t. But I’ll try and maybe one day I will.”

Fitz let out a wet laugh, a bright smile crossing his face even as more tears filled his eyes. “You do that, then.” He swallowed hard, looking back down at his hands as Mack started to back away and turned to leave. He looked up sharply, slapping a hand on the glass. “Mack!” he called, stopping him before he could leave. Mack looked back and Fitz let out a weak whimper. “You know I love you, too, right? Just- I may not have wanted to lately, but I do. I can’t stop.”

Mack gave him a small, secret smile that was filled with hope. “Just don’t stop before I can earn it, Baby.” Fitz nodded, biting his lip as it started to tremble. 

“Soooo is your friend getting help orrrr…?”

Fitz barked out a laugh, not bothering to look back at Coulson and Barton. “Yeah, yeah, keep from killing each other just a bit longer and we’ll be fine,” he said, eyes still on Mack’s retreating figure.

He watched Mack walk away with tears streaming down his cheeks but a smile on his lips because, if nothing else, it was a start.


End file.
